It Only Took A Second, For My Life To Never Be The Same.

On June 29th, 2003, Matt & I were in a life-changing car accident.

It's been over 4 years & I still struggle to talk about it, much less write a whole post about it, but I finally decided that it's time, mainly because it's a big part of who I am today.

It was about 10:30am on Sunday.

Matt & I were on our way to watch a golf tournament in another state. We were merging onto another Interstate, when we heard the sound of screeching brakes.

I remember us both kind of turning our heads in the direction of the sound & we both asked, "What is that?". I felt us get hit & I saw us turn sideways & run over the guard posts.

That's it.

After that, my next memory is Matt holding my hand in the ambulance & hearing him tell me that we had been in an accident & we were on our way to hospital.

I remember that my legs hurt.

Bad.

And, I remember thinking that I must be dreaming.

What my mind blocked out was our Jeep Cherokee rolling over 4 times, coming to rest by a tree. Matt was awake & conscious the whole time & remembers counting the rolls.

He says when we stopped, he looked over at me & I was hanging by my seat belt. His door wouldn't open, so he had to crawl over me, unbuckle my belt & lay me down on the grass.

We were lucky that people who witnessed the wreck called 9-1-1. A team of nurses on their way to work were 3 cars behind us & they stopped to help.

Matt says he didn't really know if I was dead or alive.

He says the nurses tended to me & told Matt to sit on the grass on the other side of the Jeep. I think they didn't want him to see me, in case I didn't make it.

Also behind us, purely by coincidence, was one of our reporters & photographers from our TV station. Not knowing it was us, they pulled over to get video of the wreck.

As they got closer, they realized it was Matt. They immediately went into "friend" mode, instead of "reporter/photographer" mode, sitting with Matt until they knew how I was.

Matt couldn't find our cell phones in the wreckage, so Brandis (the reporter) started calling people for us. She called our good friend, Greg, first...he's also a co-worker of ours.

Brandis also tried our parents, but being a Sunday, everyone was at church & no one had their cell phones with them.

The ambulance got there, stabilized me & put my legs in air casts because the impact crushed both of them.

Apparently, the girl who hit us was speeding, lost control of her car going around a slight curve. She tried to get back on the road, but she over corrected & started to spin.

When she did that, her front left side pitted us on our back left side, sending us spinning & then we rolled down a slight hill. Her car kept spinning & landed on the other side of the road.

She was not injured. Thankfully.

I, however, did not know what was happening & planted my feet on the floorboard. When I did, the energy of rolling over & over pushed through my feet, crushing the bones inside my legs.

Matt was not injured, either. Double thankfully. He does have a scar on his right arm from where glass from the windshield cut him pretty deep.

The EMT's put him in a neck brace & on a back board anyway & took us both the ER in the same ambulance.

Matt told them he had to ride with me because he wanted to be with me when I woke up.

When we got the hospital, I remember our friend, Greg, standing over me while I was on the stretcher, asking me how I felt.

Then, I remember my Daddy holding my hand & me telling him that I didn't want to die.

I remember Matt, my mom, my mom-in-law, Greg & another co-worker & friend, Alice, standing around my bed in the ER. I think I told someone I was going to get a new car.

I remember being in the CAT scan machine, asking if I could just sit up & dangle my legs for a minute because they felt like they were asleep.

At this point, I don't think I realized that my legs were broken. Now, though, I know that's why they felt all tingly.

This all happened over about a 5 or 6 hour period, but to me, still to this day, it feels like 5 minutes.

The next day, Monday, I was in surgery for 5 or 6 hours, as my doctor's tried to put my bones back together. They put a long, steel rod in my left leg from my knee to my ankle with 12 screws. On my right leg, they put a curved rod in my ankle with 6 screws.

During my 4 & 1/2 days in ICU, I remember a nurse washing my hair, I remember waking up every now & then to hit my Morphine button, I remember my aunt & uncle leading me & my family in prayer, I remember waking up & hearing a thunderstorm & I remember asking a nurse if they tested the blood they were giving me in a transfusion.

I remember feeling Matt's tears on my cheek as he was telling me how hard it was for him to drive for the 1st time since the accident.

The accident was on Sunday, he drove by himself on Wednesday. He didn't have to, but he knew if he didn't do it then, it would just get harder & harder.

I was lucky in the fact that my Dad is a doctor & was well known at the hospital, so they relaxed the ICU Visitor Rules for me & let Matt stay with me all day. He went to his mom's house at night to shower & sleep.

I was told later, that during my stay in ICU, I had lots of visitors. Some who came back & saw me. Others who stayed in the waiting room to keep my family company.

They prayed, they brought food & they listened.

I was moved to a private room Wednesday afternoon & stayed there until Monday. I was still on a Morphine pump, so I was in & out of sleep.

On a funny note, Matt says I would start a sentence, fall asleep in the middle of it, wake up 2 hours later & finish the sentence.

Because Matt & I lived on the 2nd story in our apartment complex, I couldn't go home. So, Matt & I moved in with my mom so that he could still go to work & my mom could take care of me.

For the first few days at my mom's house, I didn't do much.

Slept.

Ate.

Slept some more.

Friends & family came over everyday, bringing food, flowers & all sorts of gifts for me.

Every other day, my mom would put me in my wheelchair & take me out to the back deck & wash my hair. She had to help give me a sponge bath everyday.

When Matt got home from work each night, my mom would make us dinner. She gave her bed to us & she slept on the couch FOR 11 WHOLE WEEKS. She was & still is a saint.

Over the next few weeks, I had in-home therapy & the day before my 25th birthday, I had surgery again to fix a spot below my left knee that had collapsed.

Finally, on August 12th, I walked, with the assistance of a walker.

And, it hurt.

But, I persisted.

After 5 months of vigorous therapy, I went from a walker, to crutches to a cane to nothing.

Once I was able to use the walker fairly well, Matt & I moved back to our apartment (we have since bought a house) & I went back to work. Part-time at first & then full-time.

During the time at my mom's, I got so many cards of encouragement & prayers from people I didn't even know. A prayer circle was formed for me by my aunt's church in Texas.

I relied on prayer to get me through each day. I woke up praying & fell asleep praying. I asked God for patience & understanding. And, I asked Him to help me forgive the girl who hit us.

I watched the power of prayer work before my own eyes.

And, it was awesome.

Equally awesome was the fact that this wreck brought our families closer together. And, I watched my mom, sister, mom-in-law, dad & Matt drop EVERYTHING to take care of me.

They sat with me, shared stories with me, prayed with me & cheered with me when I stood up on my own 2 feet & walked again.

I've had several additional surgeries since the accident & I will have a total knee replacement in a few years, but my doctor's trying to buy me some time by draining my knee & giving me a Cortisone shot when my knee swells up.

I live with constant pain, but I'm used to it. In fact, if I wasn't in pain, I wouldn't know what to do.

I can't walk the length of the mall without having to sit down & rest, I develop a limp when my legs get tired. I can't sit Indian-style & I can't squat because my left leg won't bend all the way anymore. I can't flex my right ankle. And, I can't feel parts of my left leg from my knee to my ankle because of nerve damage.

BUT.

I'm alive.

And, I can walk.

And, I have an amazing husband & a wonderful family.

And, in a way, that makes all the pain worthwhile.