At 38 weeks pregnant, a friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful & perfect baby girl on June 25th.
What should have been a joyous occasion, was anything but.
That's because Baby M was stillborn.
My friend went to her regularly scheduled OB appointment on the 24th. I don't know all the specifics, but something prompted her doctor to do an ultrasound to check on the baby.
There was no heartbeat.
No movement.
Baby M was no longer with us.
My friend was sent straight to the hospital to be induced to deliver her sweet baby girl that she & her husband had prayed for so hard & for so long.
She wasn't dilated at all & her labor lasted more than 12 hours.
Baby M came into the world surrounded by so much love, prayers, sadness & grief.
My heart's hurting so much for my friend & her husband. They had her little room set up & a closet full of little clothes for her to wear.
There was never any reason for them to believe she'd never sleep in her crib or wear her clothes.
It's just not fair.
And, I'll never understand why things like this happen.
Today, my friend posted this article on stillbirths on her blog.
Please read it.
I did.
And, I learned that 1 in every 160 pregnancies ends in stillbirth. And, stillbirths are not frequently talked about between doctors & patients.
You can read why in the article.
I'm curious to know your opinions about this.
I know what it's like to experience loss. Not of the magnitude of what my friend is going through, but enough to know a little bit about what she's feeling right now.
As soon as you find out there's a baby growing inside you, you fall totally & completely in love with that baby. To lose the baby at any stage in pregnancy is devastating.
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8 comments:
Oh my gosh, my heart is breaking for them! I can't imagine the depth of their pain. This is something I have NOT wanted to think about, and apparently I'm not alone. I had no idea how often it happens; I was shocked to learn that it is more prevalent than SIDS.
I didn't know a woman still had to deliver her stillborn baby naturally. I guess I just assumed they did surgery or somehow delivered the baby under anesthesia. That makes it seem even more horrible (speaking as someone who has no experience with this.)
I'm so sorry for your friend. I will definitely keep her and her husband in my prayers through this hard time.
Thanks for posting that story. I had no idea that stillbirth was so common still. I hope that the legislation that is going though congress will help bring some awareness to this issue, and hopefully someday, some answers!
I am so sorry for your friend, and any one who has lost a child - at any stage. I know this strikes you very personally. There is nothing that makes sense in this situation and little anyone can say to comfort your friends at this time but please know they are in my prayers.
So sorry to hear about your friend ... so very sad!
As for the stillborn issue, my Dr did mention it, but said it was not common practice to mention it. Said that there was really n o way to detect it and early birth is the only prevention, but that in it's self causes to many health issues ... and she said THAT is exaclty why they don't mention it.
No need in telling parents to fear something they cna't control.
This comment is getting long and I am sorry ... I lost my Best Friend at 23. He was the Best friend I have ever had, will ever have. Still 10 years later I talk to him. To me... that was like stillbirth ... NOTHING could have saved him, it was ment to be. I hate that your friends, and you (I know this was very hard on you too) are having to face this and I know that they will have a very hard time moving forward ... so pray I will! I will pray for them to find comfort in the fact aht God needed her more, and even though that isn't a good enough answer somedays it does help get me through a rough one without Chris!
This story is very sad. She is also a friend of my sisters so I learned about it through Haley. I cannot imagine what she is going through and I don't know how she found the strength to push out a still baby.
Just having a baby myself, I can say that my doctor did not bring up stillbirths. I understand why as it only scares people. However, being that I work with special needs children, I was overly concerned throughout my pregnancy with losing Anabelle or her having birth defects. I found the statistic of 1 in 160 shocking. However, at this point, I know of 3 women who have had stillbirths in the last couple of years so i guess that is correct.
My goodness, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss and hope that you all find the strength to help each other get over this crushing loss. My thoguhts and prayers are with everyone
You poor friend...that's one of the absolute worst things I can imagine.
I've been blessed to have had two uneventful pregnancies and delivered two healthy children. There was some drama with my daughter's birth because they couldn't find her heartbeat between pushes, and it turned out the cord was wrapped around her neck. It would have been beyond devestating to have lost her at that point.
I am so sorry to hear about your friends loss. I can't imagine how difficult and heartbreaking that must be.
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